DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a concert at our church, which has an excellent endowed music program. The concert was an organ and poetry recital, about 40 minutes in duration.
About 15 minutes in, I became aware of a skritching sound that didn’t stop. I looked in the pew behind me and a woman was sitting there filing her nails with an emery board. I tried to get her attention but she would not look at me. I reached back and tapped her knee, which startled her and made her angry. I asked her to please stop filing her nails, which she did. At the end of the concert, she asked my name and informed me that if I ever touched her again, she would call the police and press charges on me for assault. I said “please do.” She had already ruined the event for me. She made a commotion as she left, which was noticed by others.
Should I have done something different?
GENTLE READER: Tapped her on the shoulder, not the knee.
No, wait. You should not be touching strangers at all, unless you are rescuing them from imminent danger. Besides, it would be difficult to reach a shoulder in the pew behind you.
And it is difficult, Miss Manners admits, to reach a determined scofflaw. If no church authority was available during the incident, it might still be worth reporting in the hope that efforts will be made to restore proper behavior.